You don’t get a reward for suffering.
If you’re a high achiever who:
thinks success isn’t real unless it’s born from struggle;
equates difficulty with value;
lowkey romanticizes burnout;
We need to talk…
I understand that in order to achieve great things in life, you have to put in the work. You need to sacrifice. You need to decide which few aspects of your life to prioritize in a given season. You need to overcome the struggles that come along the way.
And while there are a lot of people who need to learn how to struggle, I’ve learned that there are people like you and me that already have “to struggle” as their default. You know...the ones that are willing to work overtime, skip lunch breaks to finish tasks, sacrifice sleep for side hustles, or feel guilty about taking vacations. The ones who wear exhaustion like a badge of honor and believe that if something comes easily, we must be doing it wrong.
For people like us, this can lead to a huge disadvantage: thinking that absolutely nothing good in our lives can come with ease. The problem with this thinking is it traps us in a constant state of scarcity and unnecessary suffering. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that success must taste like bitter coffee at 3 AM, feel like a tension headache, and sound like notifications constantly pinging on our phones.
From college up until the first few years of working from home, I always thought that I needed to “work hard.” And that working hard was the only way to approach things. I was so caught up in this principle that I couldn’t fathom the idea that things could come easily if I worked smarter, more efficiently, and alongside like-minded people that could help me get to my goals faster than I ever could alone.
Thankfully, the not-so-harsh truth is that it IS possible for us to achieve things while still experiencing joy, peace, and rest.
Suffering isn’t always a prerequisite for success.
Being stressed isn’t a metric for productivity.
And struggling isn’t always a sign that you're on the right path (sometimes it’s a sign that you need to find a different route).
When was the last time someone handed you an award for having the most sleepless nights? Or promoted you specifically because you looked the most burned out? There’s no extra credit for doing things the hard way when an easier path exists.
This doesn’t mean that challenges won’t come up or that hard work isn’t necessary. It just means that not everything valuable in life needs to be earned through pain. Sometimes good things can come easily. Sometimes success can feel light. Sometimes the best path forward is the one with the least resistance.
So if you’re like me who’s wants to work on completely letting go of the “suffering = success” mindset, here are some practical steps:
Audit Your Struggles
Take a week to notice when you’re making things harder than they need to be. Are you refusing help because “I should do this myself”? Are you taking the long way because the shortcut feels too easy? Start questioning your default settings.
Redefine “Hard Work”
Instead of measuring effort by your stress levels, measure it by your results. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest, delegate, or find a more efficient solution. Hard work can look like making smart choices that save you time and energy.
Practice Receiving
Start small. Accept compliments without deflecting, take help when it’s offered, celebrate wins without immediately moving the goalposts. Train yourself to believe that good things can come easily and that you’re worthy of them when they do.
You’re allowed to succeed without suffering.
You’re allowed to achieve without exhaustion.
You’re allowed to win without wounds.
The path to your goals doesn’t have to be paved with your pain. It can be lined with joy, support, and yes, even ease. :)
